Gratitude Without Denial — Being Thankful Doesn't Mean I'm Not Hurting

The essay

You know what gets on my nerves? When somebody tells a person who's already going through hell to "just be grateful." Grateful for WHAT? The hell? 🤣 Listen, I understand the intention, but sometimes people use gratitude like it's supposed to cancel out pain. And I don't believe that's how gratitude works. To me, gratitude is recognizing what is still good without pretending that everything is good. I can thank God for my life and still question why certain things happened in it. I can appreciate the lessons I've learned without being grateful for the people who hurt me. And I can recognize my blessings while admitting that I'm exhausted, disappointed, angry, or grieving. I've had moments where I was the person everybody expected to be strong, figure things out, keep working, and keep going, even when I had my own problems nobody could see. I've spent decades helping other people get through complicated situations professionally, while privately trying to navigate some pretty complicated situations of my own. That taught me something important: being capable of handling a situation doesn't mean it isn't hurting you. And acknowledging that hurt doesn't make me ungrateful.

The way I practice gratitude has changed because I stopped treating it like an obligation to find something positive in every painful experience. I'm building businesses while dealing with financial limitations. I'm creating books and technology I'm genuinely excited about, while still having days when I wonder how I'm going to manage everything I'm trying to accomplish. I can be proud of what I've built and frustrated by how far I still have to go. Both are true.

That's the part I want people to understand through DEEMYX PrayerIQ. I don't believe you have to clean up your emotions before bringing them to God. Sometimes my prayer is, "God, I'm thankful for what I have, but I'm struggling with what I'm facing. Help me recognize what's good without pretending this doesn't hurt." And here's a practical reflection: What am I genuinely grateful for today, and what am I still allowed to feel sad, angry, or disappointed about? Give yourself permission to answer both questions truthfully. Because gratitude shouldn't require dishonesty. I can be grateful for what remains, hopeful about what's coming, and still grieve what I've lost. That's not a contradiction. That's being human. 🦋

Browse the essays in this series in Reflections.